This is the second blog in a five-part series outlining the process a group of young folks and I took this summer to learn, reflect and work to become actively antiracist by reading and responding to the book Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi. You can read the first blog post here.

Let’s start with the kids.

I happen to have a large number of friends and family who had children 12 years ago. My sister gave birth to my first niece 12 years ago. I witnessed the home birth of the son of two dear friends 12 years ago. My best friend had her child 12 years ago. The list goes on and on. Essentially, seven friends of mine had kids going into 7th grade. And since middle schoolers are some of my favorite people on the planet, and I knew some of them were having a hard time with home quarantine and missing the social joys of school - and to be honest, I was too - I reached out to the kids and their families to see if they wanted to read Stamped together. Everyone agreed and some even invited friends. We had participants from Harlem, Los Angeles, Oakland, Sacramento and El Paso. Some of the kids knew each other and others knew no one. Over the course of seven weeks, we built relationships, shared our ideas and talents, and got closer.

So, how did we build relationships across thousands of miles?

First, we always used the first 30-40 minutes of our 90 minute sessions getting to know each other. We used a range of activities that included the following:

Quick introductions and check-ins - We started each book club with this as a way for the kids to remember each other’s names, locations and learn new things about each other. Our prompts included:
- Share your name, your city, who is in your family, something you do for fun, 3 words to describe you, 2 talents you have
- If you could meet anyone in the world, living or dead, who would you meet and why?
- One high and one low from your week
- Choose a check-in question from this list to ask the person whose name is listed in the chat below yours
- One rose and thorn from being in home quarantine
- Where in the world would you like to travel? Who would you take with you on this trip? Why?
- If you really knew me, you’d know that I...
Headed to the Moon - You’ve just found out that you and your family are headed to the moon for a year. All of your food and shelter will be taken care of and your family is coming with you. The shuttle takes off in three minutes and you can only bring five items with you. What will they be? Take three minutes now and gather those items before we blast off. Be ready to share your five items when the timer goes off!
Our Commonalities - I love this activity. You put 3-5 people in a group and give them a set amount of time to find 5 things they have in common that are not obvious by looking at them. The kids came up with a ton of fun things like “We’re all athletic, like cold, slushy drinks, sushi, pizza, Hamilton and Black-ish.”
Life Maps - These are always one of my favorite things to do with students and a great way for students to learn about each other’s life experiences. On a sheet of paper, create a map of your life. Start with your birth and choose 5-7 life events that have had an impact on you. They can be whatever you’d like. Draw an image that connects to each event and connect them in some way.
Lights Out and Pose! - This is a game I learned from the awesome folks at the Freestyle Love Supreme Academy that works wonderfully in a virtual setting to get the energy up and incorporate some movement and fun. Someone chooses a word or phrase, like Beyonce, superhero, justice, Black Lives Matter, donut, or curious, and then says, “The word is justice. Lights out!” Everyone covers up their camera with their finger and the facilitator counts down, “3, 2, 1, pose!” Everyone uncovers their cameras and poses in a tableau that embodies that word or phrase. Participants get a few seconds to look around the screen and notice everyone’s pose and then a new word or phrase is chosen. It’s also fun to switch facilitators and get suggestions in the moment.
Dance Parties! - We also had 1-2 minute dance breaks where one of the participants would choose a song and we’d all get up and move our bodies for a few moments. It always brought the energy up and let us get to know a bit more about each other’s music preferences.

Second, the young folks in the book club also facilitated some of our group building exercises. I gave each of them a quick Google Form survey at the end of each book club asking what worked and what didn’t for them that day. I also asked if any of them had suggestions or would be interested in facilitating a warm up or group building exercise. A few took me up on that offer and facilitated the following:

Two Truths and a Lie - Have each person share three statements that include two truths and one lie. The rest of the group gets to guess which statement is the lie and in the process we learn more about one another. Participants can also ask follow up questions based on each person’s statements to deepen their knowledge of their peers.
10 Questions - One person thinks of a person, place or thing and the rest of the group gets to ask 10 yes or no questions to try and figure out what that person, place or thing is. We played four rounds switching facilitators and the group successfully guessed three of the four words.

The young folks regularly shared that their favorite parts of the book club were these activities. They loved getting to know each other and having fun in the moment.

Building relationships in a virtual setting can be hard. It’s so important that we ensure there is ample time for young folks to get to know each other and share who they are with their peers. This can be done in whole group, small groups, in pairs, using our voices, our writing, our images, and so many other things. Get creative with it and remember that the adult facilitators or teachers don’t have to come up with everything. Be sure to ask young folks for regular feedback and ideas and invite them to co-facilitate. Everyone will be better for it.

The next blog post in this series will share different ways that we engaged with and responded to the book Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi.